Happy New Year…er… Happy New Day!
Well, hello there. Where have you been?
Here?
You’ve been here, waiting for me to post?
Well, I haven’t been here posting. I’ve been on adventures that have taken me from the mitten state (Michigan) to West Virginia to Texas and I’ve finally arrived back at Domestigay headquarters. I’m so sorry, that you’ve been waiting for a post for me for so long. To make it up, I have tons of great posts coming with free stuff for you for that special love day that’s coming up! So, grab a latte and let’s catch up.
X X X X X X X X X X X X
I finished my first semester in graduate school! Yay! But I couldn’t survive without stitching. So, late one night in my office I procrastinated by stitching. Looking around I realized there was nothing to stitch! *collective gasp* Using some ingenuity and creativity, I give you book-stitching (something I want to do for real now).
X X X X X X X X X X X X X
Now, remember how I said only one person was getting an embroidered gift this year (cause that’s all I could reasonably do), well here it is! My friend M is Russian and has two Russian tattoos (one says feminist in Russian, the other are nesting dolls). So, now she an embroidered tote of her tattoos! (you can get the pattern from Sublime Stitching here)
X X X X X X X X X X X X
And that brings us to the great state of Texas! J and I went to Texas. For New Year’s Eve we went to a B-Movie Ball. It was awful. The party was not happening—that is, not until we showed up! Check out our costumes. Can you guess who we went as? (PS: Is that glitter on my pencil mustache or are you just gay to see me?)
I did some stitching on the plane to and from Texas (but it must remain a secret)! I joined the stitching mile-high club!
X X X X X X X X X X X
I am dedicated, now, to organizing my embroidery supplies, too! I made this cotton/linen bag to tote all my embroidery supplies around with me (see photograph above about not having stitching nearby at office).
X X X X X X X X X X X X
Oh, geesh, look at the time. I sure did talk about myself a lot! I’m sorry, mom, I know it is not polite to talk about myself so much. Now, moving on… give me someone else to talk about! Please send your craft/art projects to domestigay@gmail.com or find me on Twitter (@domestigay) or on Facebook (facebook.com/domestigay) or on Instagram (domestigay). I’m becoming an Instagram-addict. It’s true! Tomorrow I am absolutely talkin’ about someone else—D from Texas (who was in West Virginia while I was in Texas!) sent in a stitched up tote she made for her friend for the holiday! Stay tuned!
X X X X X X X X X X X X
Coming soon to domestigay:
-
Valentine’s you won’t be embarrassed to give (cause they’re gay)
-
I resurrect underwear stitching
-
More beefcakes!
-
Musing on jealousies—complete with stitching.
-
How I am organizing my floss
-
AND SO MUCH MORE! STAY TUNED (I promise to write this more)
THE DOMESTIGAY HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE IS HERE!
The gifting season is here! The holidays are drawing in upon us and you may be asking yourself what is the perfect gift for the domestigay on your list. No fear! I am here to provide you with creative domestic, gay, and domestigay gift ideas for any budget!
If you decide you want to buy any of these gifts for the domestigay in your life, the link the title will take you to the appropriate website to purchase the item! You can also click on the “guide” to make it bigger if you want to see the items in more detail.
1. Sassy Gay Metal (fill-in-the-blank) Case from SweetHeartSinner Creations ($9.99)
I’ll admit I’m jonesing for one of these. This is the all-around awesome domestic, gay, and domestigay gift. It is a cigarette case. It’s an id holder. It’s a cash and credit card holder. It’s a business card holder. It’s a case to hold a domestigay’s embroidery scissors, a skein of floss, and some needles. It is a domestigay embroidery-on-the-go dream. This really is the perfect gift for anyone because it is so versatile, like many gay men! But wait, should you have a lesbian in your life, there are also tons of lesbian styles of this. Just browse around SweetHeartSinner’s store.
2. “Homo Sweet Homo” XStitch from Subversive Cross Stitch (Basic Kit -$12.00 / Deluxe Kit $20.00 / Downloadable .pdf Pattern $5.00)
Do you have someone on your list that wants to learn cross stitch? Then the deluxe kit from Subversive Cross Stitch is perfect! It comes with easy instructions and everything one needs to complete the project. You can even change the colors of the hearts on the cross stitch if you want. Do you know someone who just needs the pattern? You could buy them the .pdf of the pattern and let them make their own. Or, you could download the pattern for yourself and make this quick project for a last-minute gift for the gay on your list. This was one of the first cross stitch projects I did!
3. Steve Petrow’s Complete Gay and Lesbian Manners: The Definitive Guide to LGBT Life ($12.21)
I recently purchased this book for a multitude of reasons and it has been invaluable. Not only is it perfect for any gay or lesbian in your life, it is also perfect for a heterosexual. It covers everything you could ever want to know about GLBT manners. Topics include: coming out, dating, sex etiquette, moving in together, popping the question and weddings, parenting, bullying & homophobia, entertaining, workplace issues, travel, and much more. Also, if you are looking to make “get engaged” a New Year’s resolution for 2012, I suggest placing a loving bookmark on the page about popping the question and giving it to your future fiance for the holidays!
4. Beefcake Beach Embroidery by Sublime Stitching (iron-on transfer $5.00 / .pdf pattern $3.00)
It is no surprise to anyone that reads this blog regularly that I LOVE SUBLIME STITCHING. This is perfect for the gay embroiderer on your list. Who doesn’t want to embroider sexy beefcakes on their shirts, bags, towels, and gym rags? This pattern is the one that I embroidered on my beefcake shirt! And let’s not forget our lesbian embroiderers, they might like the Pin-Up Grrls I made, which also came from Sublime Stitching or these beach babes. Again, this is a project you can do for the gays in your life, or you could purchase the pattern and kit to introduce embroidery to the domestigays in your life. I also recommend this embroidery kit (where you can get the beefcakes and pin-ups included) if you want to give the gift of embroidery this holiday season. This is how I first taught myself embroidery.
5. “I’m so gay I qualify as a housewife” Magnet by PicardCreative ($5.25)
I saw this and immediately thought it is the perfect magnet to grace any domestigay’s fridge, filing cabinet, or other metal space. This quotation is also like a domestigay mantra, the gayer we get the closer to housewife status we get. If this one doesn’t fit your fancy (or it is sold), look at the other equally funny and lovely magnets from PicardCreative.
6. Gay Accent Breath Spray from BlueQ ($4.99)
I adore BlueQ. They have subversive vintage-inspired items that will make anyone with wit laugh. I put this on the holiday list because if you are questioning if someone is gay or not this holiday season, then buy them something off this list and this breath spray. They will like your gift no matter what, because they will soon be speaking with a “sizzle” in their s’s. This item may be the ultimate stocking stuffer this holiday season.
7. “TOP GAY” Apron from LGBabyT ($20.00)
I will take one of these in black, please. For the baking gay in your life (or just the top gay in your life), I present to you this amazing domestigay-approved apron with wordplay from the hit television show Top Chef (or arguably from one of the gayest not-gay films, Top Gun). I recently wore an apron to cook Thanksgiving. At $20.00 an apron, how can you pass up this great kitchen wear for the gay in your life? I’m just curious though, what happens if one is a “bottom gay” or a “versatile gay”? This will work perfect for barbeques, entertaining, baking, cooking, or just hanging out in the house. If I had one of these, I’d totally wear it all the time, even when I wasn’t baking!
8. Men-Up Calendar by Rion Sabean ($15.00)
I already bought one three of these. I got one for me, one for my boyfriend (which he got at Thanksgiving), and one for a friend. Rion Sabean took men and “typical” men activities and photographed them in pin-up girl poses. You must get this for the gay guy or straight woman in your life for 2012. It is a perfect holiday gift since one week after the holidays, a new year means a new calendar! I’m in love with this calendar and already have mine hung up to January. And guess what, too! These come signed by the photographer. So not only are they amazing calendars, but they are also autographed on the cover. I’ve already explained to Mr. Sabean on Twitter that he should watch out for my 2012 campaign to be a model in the 2013 calendar. His response, “You never know it could happen.” My response, “Let’s change that could to will.”
9. Swish and Gay Haiku by Joel Derfner ($12.29 / $11.99 for Kindle)
I read Gay Haiku back when I first started dating my boyfriend. He had it on his shelf, recommended it to me, and then, one day while he was out doing his big gay theatre thing, I read it. It is hysterical. Anyone who has a love of gay culture, poetry, and haiku will love this book. It is perfect for the reading gay on your list. Unfortunately, it is only available “new” on Kindle, but you can get it used from $1.92.
Derfner’s second book, Swish, is subtitled, “My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever and What Ended Up Happening Instead.” I’m currently reading this a little each night before bed. This is put on the list for the domestigay knitters in your life. The first chapter, “On Knitting” is a lovely look at knitting and how it came to provide insight for Derfner into the tense relationships gay men sometimes have with their mothers. So far so good. A must read for all domestigays. Should I start a domestigay reading list? If so, this is toward the top.
10. A Thank You Note to Your Domestigay by You (Free)
Holidays are a time of goodwill, gratitude, and love. Sometimes the best gifts are the most simple ones. That’s why I’m ending the 2011 Domestigay Gift Guide with a handwritten note thanking the domestigay in your life for being who s/he is and being a part of your life. Queer people need to be told that they are appreciated and loved—often more than their straight counterparts. With families disowning gay people, tons of homophobia in the world, bullying directed at homosexuals, and all the ways the lgbt community is ostracized in the world, just telling a queer person that you love him/er, are grateful s/he is in your life can be more powerful than any of the other gifts on this list. And, since times are tough, it is also the cheapest, most meaningful, and best gift any domestigay could ask for.
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
Well, that’s it folks. Now, I must ask you, what are YOU getting the domestigays in your life this holiday season?
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
Embroidered iPhone!
Hey, there. Guess what I did. I embroidered my iPhone!
I have been enviously looking at blogs where people have embroidered their iPhone for weeks now. In fact, I was thinking of the idea before I even saw it on any blog, and then it appeared on a lot of craft blogs. After a quick search on Google, I found a cheap website to order from. I ordered a couple (because they were so cheap). After a week of hearing nothing other than PayPal releasing my money to a Chinese company, I thought I’d get in contact with them. Using a type of instant messaging service, I spoke with a customer sales representative who had very broken English (which made me thankful for the instant messaging because I could diagram the sentences in my head when they were really bad—dork!). This representative said that the products I ordered were, “on order behind.” This means backordered. They did not know when/if the product would be received, ever, so then they refunded my money.
So then, I followed a link from a blog that swore quick shipping by both the American writer and many of the commenters. I ordered it, and in one short week, I received a package from Korea. Inside was my shiny new cross stitch iPhone case. I’ve had this case since September and have been anxiously wanting to stitch it. I could not figure out what to put on it. A whale perhaps? “Domestigay,” maybe? One of the included patterns of Superman? The traditional, “Jason,” you know to make sure everyone knew who I was. No. Then last week, Boyfriend and I went to the bookstore and I got to page through two books I’ve been dying to get my hands on—Push Stitchery and Hoopla. I was so inspired I decided I needed to have embroidery in my daily life. I decided I’d tackle on the iPhone case. Even though my canvas is for cross stitch, I used an embroidery stitch to design the cover. The herringbone stitch is one of my favorites. So, without plotting I just took off stitching. I started with a light grey, then moved onto a darker grey and a d
arker grey, ending the row early. At the end, I thought the stitched sides needed to be (mildly) connected, so I embroidered Xs (aka large and spaced out cross stitches) down the center. I am quite happy with the results. For my next techno stitch, I want to get this MacBook case and embroider it! Where will the madness stop!?
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
There are only THREE days left of MOvember! Have you donated yet? There is still time! Go to http://mobro.co/jvanfosson to help me change the face of men’s health! So far, I’ve raised $135.00! I’d love to make it an even $200! Thank you to all of you who have already donated. Every contribution helps—no matter how big or how small. In fact, if everyone who viewed my YouTube video donated just one dollar (less than a cup of coffee), I would have raised over $400.00 for prostate and testicular cancer!
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
A Domestigay Thanksgiving
Dearest Domestigays,
It has been awhile. I have been quite busy with many domestigay projects—including the Midwest Men’s Knitting Retreat! (expect post on this soon)
So let’s work our ways back to the post on the knitting retreat. Let’s begin with this past week and the first domestigay adventures in the kitchen. Yes, that’s right. I made Thanksgiving dinner—Turkey and all.
So what was on the menu? I’m glad you asked!
- Lil’ Smokey Cheeseball (cause everyone needs a cheeseball)
- Turkey
- Turkey Gravy
- Stuffing (not cooked in the turkey)
- Homemade Mashed Potatoes
- Cranberry Relish
- Green Beans (fried and with bacon)
- Pumpkin Pie
- You! My loyal domestigay reader.
- My family
- My boyfriend
- My friends near and far
- My ability to craft and cook
- My community (in the various forms it takes)
- My health
- My Thanksgiving
The Eve of Halloween (proper)
What is the gayest holiday on the calendar? HALLOWEEN! Many people associate Halloween with gore, monsters, zombies, witches, ghouls, trick-or-treating, pumpkins, the Great Pumpkin, kids dressed as vegetables or princesses (okay, maybe I am the only one who has ever gone trick-or-treating as a pea in a pod, but I was like four). Gay Halloween, however, is not these things. Gay Halloween is bat shit insane. Drag queens become super drag queens. Sequence shops go from red to black in one week. Glitter hangs over gay bars like smog in the city. This. This is Gay Halloween.
But since moving and starting to get my Ph.D., I have missed Gay Halloween this year. It is also difficult to celebrate Gay Halloween when your partner lives eight driving hours away. We have yet to fully celebrate Halloween together. When we do, though, watch out. I have already made our costumes and they are under-wraps in my closet (unlike my sex-oo-al-itay). So, as the most fabulous-gay-friendly-happiest-most-wonderful-amazing holiday approaches, I plead to my domestigays to, please, be safe and sane.
And guess what! That ol’ bat glows in the dark!
I Need a Drink
Is this week almost over? This week has certainly been one of the most difficult, trying, stressful, and questionable weeks since the great migration to the Midwest. It’s time for a drink!
So what does a good domestigay do when he has a stressful week? Embroider, of course!
I am currently embroidering six cocktail napkins. Each cocktail napkin features a different drink. So, without further ado, I present the first of this series.
This is my vodka-on-the-rocks glass. I call it this as opposed to an old-fashioned glass because the colors really remind me of the Absolut vodka bottle—silver, grey, blue. I hope you like it—the vodka, not the embroidery.
The first picture in this post shows the napkin itself. I got the napkins, of course, from Sublime Stitching. You cannot get these napkins anymore. BUT, there are a whole set of new cocktail napkins at Sublime Stitching you can get. I want to get them in blue and black. If you want to embroider your own cocktail napkins, you can order them here and get a free pattern for them from here. Did I mention how much I love Jenny Hart? I think she saved my life. The pattern that I used for this comes from Jenny Hart’s first book, Sublime Stitching. I like the simple patterns in it, but I prefer her second book (to come in a later cocktail post) for directives and projects.
On another note, I’m really excited about the coming week for domestigay! Domestigay will be getting a great face-lift and I can’t wait to revamp the website. That means that if you are reading this in a RSS feeder or in your e-mail, you MUST come visit when I say so.
In the meantime, tell me, what projects are you currently working on? Submit some pictures! I’d love to hear from you!
Related articles
- Free Cocktail Napkin Embroidery Patterns From Sublime Stitching (craftzine.com)
- Beefcakes and Cruising (domestigay.net)
- Pin-Up Grrls (domestigay.net)
Beefcakes and Cruising
I embroidered a domestigay shirt. Actually it is just a shirt with a domestigay-friendly embroidery on it. Take a look.
I like this shirt a lot. Oh, you want to know more about the stitching? Okay. As the beefcake says, “Alright, Mr. Domestigay, I’m ready for my close-up.”
I don’t know if you can tell through this picture, but the water is made out of metallic thread. I like to look at the metallic thread. I do not like to stitch with it. It is very specific.
It is a summer shirt, I know. The weather has been cold here, I know. This shirt is now a winter shirt. Because I said so. It is hopeful for the days of beefcakes on the beach. I have not been to the gym in a very l-o-n-g time. Maybe this shirt can give me the kick I need to go back to the gym. Last night I had dinner with a gay friend. At one point we talked about the gym. Breeders don’t understand the gym like homosexuals do. Homosexuals have notoriously used the gym (especially the locker room) as a cruising* ground. The inherent homosociality of the locker rooms add a heightened awareness to homosexuals in the gym. My dinner friend and I thought it is interesting that both of us refuse to use (on campus) gyms where we may see students or colleagues. We wondered why. Could it be because the connotations of the gym in gay life? Could it be because of the way the gym functions as a type of temple for gay men? After all, gays go regularly in an attempt to better themselves—not unlike religious breeders who go to church regularly to better themselves.
I remember the first time when I was “cruised” in a gym locker room. It was in West Virginia. *insert collective gasp here* I was, in addition to being gay, young and drunk at the time. A rather beefy bear-like man asked innocently enough, “Are you a swimmer?” I simply replied, “No.” I paused a moment. I was quite confused. Not only was I not a swimmer, I could not swim (despite a two month stint on my high school swim team). Hesitantly I asked, “Why?” The grizzly bear responded, “Oh you have the body of a swimmer.” “Really?” I paused still confused. “Well I run, but I think that might produce a completely different body type.” “Oh!” said the bear. “Runner and swimmer bodies look the same to me. Either way it is a great body. I’m a photographer and work at a salon, or rather spalon. Get it? Spa and salon? I’d love to take some photographs of you sometime if you’d like to. We could shoot some with you running. You know, action shots. We could do some with you in running clothes—or not.” My young and naive mind did not realize that this last statement (especially the “or not”) meant with running clothes on or no clothes on at all. “I’m running late and have to get to work. But here’s my card, please call me and we can get together and I can shoot you. Nice speaking with you.”
Luckily, I was not wearing these when I was being cruised. Although I think if people wanted cruised, these could be quite helpful.
To the average breeder and the young, naive homosexual this may seem like a good conversation between men in a locker room. Oh, and did I mention throughout this conversation I was either naked, in my boxer briefs, or shirtless? After discussing with my boyfriend (at a later date) this event, he shed some light on it and explained that I was getting cruised. My mouth dropped. “He was trying to pick me up? Like to have sex?” In retrospect (and after learning more about cruising culture), I realize that this was indeed the case. This summer I actually threw his business card away. I kept it in my gym bag (which sat idle for quite awhile before getting moved to Kalamazoo) in case I ever decided I needed pictures taken for something.
But this experience is not nearly unique and certainly speaks to one of many types of cruising that happens in locker rooms. They are inherently sexualized places. A place of forbidden desire. A place of permitted desire. At the same time. But these are things that mostly gay men understand and see in the locker room. So, yes, I will never use the gym at my school. I would rather pay the fees and drive out of my way to go to a gym that is not easily available to students and colleagues. As a graduate student and instructor this gets more muddled. I have students, professors, and colleagues. I think these wonderful people I see daily are wonderful when they are clothed, and it is a good look for them.** Why should we ruin this?
Time to scout out gyms, now.
* This does not mean they drive their muscle car in the gym with their music playing loudly.
** I include myself in this. I think I can look mighty good in clothes and am quite sure that none of my students, colleagues, or professors would like to see my naked or boxer-brief clad body. I would prefer for them not to see it.
The pattern for the beefcake comes from Sublime Stitching’s Beefcake Beach pattern.
Related articles
- Amy Sedaris and the Art of Domestigay (domestigay.net)
- Take That, Hitler! (domestigay.net)
Homo Sweet Homo (Pt. 2)
Welcome to Domestigay headquarters. Shall I buzz you in?
C’mon in!
Want to see where the bakin’ happens? Look to your right.
Note the trash can has since been replaced with an under-the-cabinet can, but Keri remains.
Take a look at the dining area! I strongly believe that every dining table should have fresh flowers on it. These are some neon chrysanthemums.
Why, yes, I really do like nautical things and Moby-Dick. In fact, that ship there has whalebone for sails. That art is an original piece of artwork from the 2009 Handmade Arcade in Pittsburgh, PA. Here is where the magic really happens, though.
And here are two of my favorite possessions in my apartment. I know they are dorky and not domestic.
That would be a 1930s typewriter and a facsimile reproduction of the 1828 edition of America’s first dictionary. I like words. My best friend bought this dictionary for me as a housewarming gift. A gay word nerd couldn’t ask for more. This bookcase (which is double-sided) serves as a room divider. Let’s see the living room. 
This is my new couch, but it isn’t a 1930s couch.
Well, that’s all for now. The bedroom is slowly coming along. The bathroom just didn’t get photographed. Although in a future post I hope to show you the real use of a linen closet for a bookworm.
* * *
In other news, I have been waiting to post this because boyfriend left this morning. I was attempting to squeeze every last minute I could in with him before he had to return to his home seven and a half hours away. Many tears were (and still are being) shed, but it is another chapter. Not better, not worse, but different.
Thanks for stopping by!
Domestigay 